“Your mother’s right arteries collapsed which caused a hemorrhage bleeding in her chest causing heart failure.”
Nina clasped her hands over her mouth, and my dad gasped with grief.
“What is he saying, what does that mean?!” The twins asked frantically looking at their father and back to the doctor whose face now depicted sadness.
My dad tried to speak but only tears flowed down his cheeks.
My head began to spin; my heart felt like someone was crushing it into a thousand pieces. My mind was caught between the shrieks of my sisters, the sound of sirens from incoming ambulances, and against the thunderous beating of my heart. Soon everything went black. Pictures and memories of my mother flooded my mind. I remembered the funny faces we used to make when I was a kid on picture day, and all the times we held dance competitions against each other. Would all these times be gone forever?
“Sierra, Sierra.”
I could hear faint voices in the background calling my name. I opened my eyes to find myself on the floor, my dad and Mateo standing over me.
“Dad, tell me it’s not true, tell me she’s still here,” I begged.
“I’m sorry darling, I can’t.”
I breathed in deeply trying to control the tears that threatened to choke me. Nina had her arm around me as Mateo lifted me from the ground and supported me to the waiting room chair next to my dad. I sniffled as I asked my father.
“What do we do now?”
“Honestly darling, I don’t know but the mortuary said we should find clothes for her so I think we should start with that.”
“Okay, let me get the girls.”
I stood up from where I was seated and went to where Leo and the twins were. Lola and Lilly’s hysterical shrieks had quieted into soft sobs. Leo was comforting them but I could see the visible pain in his eyes. I wrapped my arms around all of them as tears of my own began to run down my face.
“Come guys, we need to go home and pick some nice clothes for mom to wear.”
“It’s so hard to imagine that she’s gone,” Leo said.
“She’s not gone forever, Leo, she’s in Heaven,” Lilly said with a confidence I wish I had.
“Yes, she is,” Nina said as she came and knelt where we were.
“She’s very happy with Jesus, and all the angels.” Said Mateo who had joined our conversation.
“Yes, and she is wearing a nice pretty white dress, right Lilly?” Lola said with a little smile on her lips.
“Yes, just like Auntie May from church said,” Lilly replied.
We soon left the hospital with Nina and Mateo and reluctantly went home.
“When we reached home, we went to my parent’s room and opened all the closets and drawers looking for clothes she loved.
“I am no expert in clothing so I will let you guys pick the things,” Leo said as he walked out of the room.
“Sierra, what about this shiny pink dress?” Lilly said pulling a pink sequined mermaid dress out of the closet.
“Pink isn’t, I mean wasn’t her favourite colour, it was green.”
“Yeah,” I said wiping a tear off my cheeks. “Remember the beautiful half tulle, half silk dress she always used to wear on special occasions?”
“Yes, your mother loved that one,” Abuela said as she entered the room. “Your papa bought it for her, and she never wanted to take it off. She vowed she would wear it to all your quinceañeras.”
“She did at mine,” I said as I walked toward my mom’s oak wood closet which had engravings of flowers. “I just wish she had gotten the chance to be at yours.”
We found the dress and decided to add a gold necklace with a heart ornament to it to complete the outfit for her. Around about that time, dad came, took the clothes, and headed toward the car. As I watched him drive away through the blue folds in the living room, I sighed with uneasiness. Tonight had changed our lives for good, I couldn’t let my dad raise all of us, so I would have to step up and be there for my siblings. I had just turned around to go to the kitchen when I heard a car pull-up in our driveway. I looked out the kitchen window to see my Aunt Cecilia, Uncle Chris, and grandma get out of a red Subaru. I ran out to them through the kitchen door. By the time I reached my grandma’s arms she was already crying and had to be supported by her son.
“Wamawe, my Sheila, noooo!!! Why did you leave me?” My grandma cried as we carried her into the house.
Her tears broke my heart and I couldn’t help crying. As soon as we entered the house, Nina and the girls came running down the stairs to see where all the screaming and wailing was coming from. The twins ran and wrapped their arms around their grandma who was seated in the living room. Her wailing subsided into soft sobs. I was being held by Aunt Cecilia when Leo came down the stairs. I could tell he was desperately trying to keep back the tears but I could see he was hurting inside. I left my aunt comforting my grandma as I moved closer to him.
“Even boys are allowed to cry,” I said with my arm around his shoulder. He started to sob softly.
“I miss her, Sierra,” He said as he pulled away from my arms.
“I know, we all do,” I said trying not to cry. “Meanwhile, where is Abuela?”
“She is in her room resting for a bit, she’s kind of overwhelmed, she told me to wake her up in about 15 minutes. She said she still has to cook now because of the vigil.”
“Oh right, a lot of family and friends will be coming by today and tomorrow.”
“With lots of stories to tell about mom, are you going to be able to sit there without breaking down?”
To be continued…
princejez 